


Zodiac killer joke gone wrong

by Emerald_Trix



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), The zodiac killer!, joke backfires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 18:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12659031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Trix/pseuds/Emerald_Trix
Summary: SO I found this thing on pinterest about what if Lance called keith the zodiac killer and aliens took it the very wrong way so me and a friend wrote this little thing





	1. chapter one

Keith looked over the Blue Paladin to see what he eas writing. "What?" He questioned at the sight of his name painted on the side of an alien building.

"Since you won't tell me yours mullet I dub thee Zodiac killer!" Lance says motioning to the wall with a smirk.

Keith rolled his eyes. "Isn't that guy like dead?" He questioned to the sign. "I wasn't even born then."

"Are were you?" Lance questions suspiciously.

"We're the same age!" Keith threw his arms up exasperated. "We were in the Galaxy Garrison together."

"You could of easily faked your age! Pidge faked her gender for crying out loud." Lance defended crossing his arms.

"Do i look 60 years old to you? Shiro literally half raised me when I entered the Garrison!?" Keith shouted back, flailing his Bayard around.

Lance hid a smile behind his hand at how riled up he got Keith." You never know. You could of gotten plastic surgery."

"If anyone got plastic surgery it would have been you," Keith rolled his eyes. "Come on, lets just get back to our lions to get to the castle."

Lance gasped and put his hand to his chest." For you information I was born this way!" Lance says striking a flirt pose.

"Ugly?" Keith taunted. He stashed his bayard before folding his arms behind his head as he began to walk away.

"At least I don't have a dumb mullet." Lance counters with a scowl following Keith back to the lions.

"My hair grew out while I was in the desert. It's fine." He rolled his eyes. Keith pulling on his helmet to get back into Red.

"I could always cut it for you." Lance offers his helmet was still on so he easily got into blue.

Keith talked through the com back, "Im fine. I don't trust you anywhere near scissors."

"Yet you trust me with a giant blaster?" Lance snorted over the com.

"I blame Allura for it if you go rouge, 'sharpshooter'." He sounded mocking with the nickname as Red started to liftoff.

Lance huffed." If anyone would end up rouge i think it would be you mr I can do it myself." He purposely ignored the jibe at his shooting.

Keith rolled his eyes. "Of course, leg, of course. Now lets get back to the others."

Lance turned off his com and sighed before taking off and turning the com back on." Beet you there mullet head!"

"Huh, you sure 'bout that? Mine is the fastest," Keith grinned at the challenge. The boy sending Red into full throttle to speed past the Blue Lion.

Lance smiled." Speed means nothing!" Lance put his lion to the max' come on girl lets show red what you got!' He thinks to blue.

"Let's go, Kitten. They havent beaten us before, and we wont let them win yet!" He declared before running a soft hand over the control panel. The lion gave a seeming purr to the touch before speed kicked up even faster from the praise.

"Oh come on!" Lance playfully shouts at how badly they lost.

Keith grinned. "Good Kitty," he ran his hands along the control panel a few more times again before leaning back in his chair in the nice calm atmosphere of the cockpit. "Hows it feel to be beaten again McClain~" He taunted with a small chuckle. He leant again into Red.

"Haha funny. I'll get you next time." Lance sighs crossing his arms.' You did great blue' he says to the blue cat.

"Sure you will," he rolled his eyes, "Will you need a head start the next time?" He grinned.

"Shut the Quiznak up Keith its only a matter of time before I beat you." Lance huffed crossing his arms.

"At what? I mean you are ahead of me in many things," Keith shrugged. "Like your ego," he taunted over the monitor.

"At least I'm not a head of your pride." Lance shot back at the red paladin.

"Are you two fighting again?" Groaned the green paladin.

"Lance is just being an idiot," Keith huffed. He nuzzled into Red with his neck. He smirked.

"Am not!" Lace says over the com. 

Pidge the green paladin rolls her eyes." Whatever we need to get back to the castle so I can run diagnostics on the lions to make sure everything is still in one piece."

"Red's stable," Keith said back to the techno geek. He gingerly ran a hand over the armrest once more. He knew she was fine from her comfortable aura around them.

"Alright then how'd blue?" Pidge calls over the com. She checked red off her list. 

"She's stable as well." Lance tells her looking over the data that was shown on a few of the screens

"Yep, Kitten just needs some rest." He said more to himself than to anyone else. He sighed before standing once Red was docked.

"Same with blue." Lance yawns stretching his back not realizing that Keith hadn't spoke to all of them.

Keith sighed and shook his head. He turned off all communication to move out of Red. "See you later, Kitty." He smiled. The male then walked out of the open jaw.

Lance patted blue once before making his way out of the mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shiro, must we go to another meeting?" Lance whined as he threw his arms around Hunk's shoulders. "Isn't the diplomatic stuff Allura's forte? When can we blow something up?" Lance grinned toward the leader. Keith rolled his eyes at the boy.

"You didn't listen to a thing Shrio has said have you lance?" Pidge snarked

"Nope!" Lance popped the 'p'. He gave a sheepish smile before rubbing the back of his neck

Shiro pinched his nose." Allura is sick so we are taking her place."

"Can aliens even get sick?" He mumbled, voice off from his nose closed. Lance sighed before nodding to the other. His face scrunched from the pinch of the nose.

"Operant so." Pidge shrugs." Let's just hope humans can't catch it."

Keith nodded in agreement. "Lets just get this over with." The red paladin rolled his eyes. He didn't want to deal with these other aliens anymore than the flirt did.

Shiro released lances nose." Okay everyone to their lions and remember to be on your best behavior."

Keith sighed as he moved to get into Red. His helmet still off from the atmosphere they were about to go in had enough oxygen for them to live and breathe.

Shiro patted his lion then entered trying to remain calm. Pidge got into her lion with a smile.

Lance pouted before sighing and running off to his own. "Take care of sleeping beauty for us, Hunky~" He called off before jumping into Blue's jaw.

"Remember to keep your guard up" shiro tells them

"I thought this was a diplomatic mission?" Keith questioned to Shiro with a tilt of his head.

"It is we just don't want to be caught off guard when we can't form voltron." Shiro says through the coms.

"True," Keith shrugged with a nod. "Alright." He answered, switching on the lion's defense system in case of emergency. "Where are we landing?"

Pidge piped in over the link." It the grass valley down there it's the only spot where all the lions can land"

 

"Copy that," Keith stated, met with a yell of, "Rodger!" from the Blue Paladin. They each set down their lions before Keith and Lance exited theirs.

Shiro and Pidge landed next two the other paladins.

Pidge came put first. Then shiro came out and said," I think the village is that way." Pointing right

Keith nodded, standing back to let Shiro lead from his point of Black Paladin and head of Voltron. The aliens would probably see it better with him in power. Lance moved to run ahead until Keith yanked him back by the hood.

Shiro smiled lightly shaking his head at those two boys. He put his helmet on and started to head in the supposed direction. Pidge rolled her eyes putting her helmet on." Try and not to cause a planetary incident?" She smirks catching up to Shiro.

Keith nodded with a sigh. Lance smirking before winking over to Pidge, "I was created by a planetary inciden-"

"Lance!" Shiro exclaimed giving him a warning look.

"Come on Shiro! At least let me make one of those jokes." Lance groaned. "They''re all bubbling in side me."

Shiro rolled his eyes," alright Lance if you can go a month with out flirting with anyone then you can make one of those jokes." He challenged knowing lance did not have a chance

"Thats evil!" Lance teared up. He threw an arm over Pidge's shoulders. "Pidgeon, tell him he's being mean." He pouted.

Pidge's eye twitched before she shocked him with her bayard." Maybe you shouldn't call me pidgeon if you wanted help." She grumbles.

Lance yelped as he jumped away from her. "Scary," he pouted. The male rubbing where he was zapped. Keith snorted a bit at the other paladin. Lance frowned and stuck his tongue out at him which Keith returned with a roll of the eyes.

"Can we focus now or do I need to turn these lions around?" Shiro asks crossing his arms exasperated.

"We aren't even in the lions!" Lance pointed out. He flailed his arms back to point at the four giant robots set on the ground behind them.

"Keep acting like this and you will stay with the lions." Shiro says dating him to go on.

Lance mocked Shiro under his breath. "I know," he sighed. "What do you want me to do?"

"To try and not get killed by a native because of your jokes." He says finally turned back around heading to the village.

"My jokes aren't bad! They're funny," Lance frowned before following the other three paladins.

"While some may think that remember the last time you explained one of your jokes to Coran?" Shiro reminds him.

"He just didn't understand Earth humor." Lance huffed with a cross of the arms. Keith then jabbed him with his elbow to be quiet once an ambassador came up. The alien was humanoid shaped, yet with light yellow skin coloring and all were bald. "Welcome Voltron," the first announced.


	2. Chapter 2

Pidge sighed she was bored out of her mind

Keith glanced to Pidge with his own bored expression. "Have any idea how long this will last?" He questioned. The boy having stayed in the back of the room and out of the way. There were lots of these species and Shiro seemed to be handling the diplomatic stuff fine on his own. Of course Lance running his mouth on the opposite side of the room with the female versions of this creature.

One of the females gasped softly at seeing the red paladin was there. Whispers soon covered the room the girls all but ignoring Lance.

Lance abruptly stopped speaking. He glanced around to see what everyone was looking at: Keith. "Oh come on!" Lance whisper yelled. He stalked over to Keith before throwing his arm around the shorter's shoulders. "What did you do??" Keith glanced back at him with a shake of the head and a confused expression.

"Um guys I'm not sure it's a good thing they are looking at Keith." Pidge whispers noticing the slight fear in a few of their eyes.

"I'm not sure whats going on..." Keith said honestly. The boy glancing over to Shiro for help since the entire hall seemed to be staring at the red paladin.

Shiro looked at them as well hoping to find out what happened. Seeing no one was fighting shiro was beyond confused." Sir why is it everyone is staring at the red paladin?" He asks one of the ambassadors.

"Black Paladin, you do not know?" The male spoke back. His eyes slightly wide with awe.

"Err," shiro debated if he really wanted to know but considering how everyone was reacting he didn't have much choice." No I don't. Did something happen?

"You do not know of The Star Killer? That's what he is known by! Messengers from other worlds have sent the message! There is much legend of the chosen one Keith Kogane of the Red Lion!" The alien explained, people moving to gather round for the Black Paladin's reaction.


	3. Chapter 3

Shiro looked toward the other three paladins confused beyond belief." Um well none of us have ever heard of this Star killer. By chance where was this message originated at?"

"We are not certain." The alien shook it's head. "Travelers from several planets have carried the message around the universe. Some ensalved planets, Ive heard, have started to believe that The Star Killer will be the one to kill the Bright Star at the center of the Galran Empire.!" He exclaimed. Keith locked eyes with Shiro making a confused expression.

"To kill a star..." shiro repeated slowly beginning to think he must of fallen asleep." Has there been photographic evidence of this?"

"Evidence? Why would evidence be needed when several cultures know of the legend? To think that the red paladin has already bravely fought against the emperor Zarkon himself! They say the battle was so close, both were on the edge of perish!" He announced, more people moving in to either swarm Keith or to swarm the storyteller.

Shiro's eyes widened and looked back at Keith. Shiro had been quite out of it after the run in with the Druid but he didn't remember that fight ending well.

Keith shook his head. The male remembering that one particular battle. Sure, it hadn't ended very well but Red had taken the worst of it, and he was certain Shiro was in worse shape than him.

Pidge looked at lance beyond baffled. 

"Well that story isn't very true." Shiro says rubbing the back of his neck from nerves.

Keith matched Pidges expression on his own. The male shuffling away from the growing people around him. "What do you mean?" The ambassador tilted their head.

"That battle hadn't been as well matched as you think." Shiro says since it was true Zarkon wasn't even in a lion and he almost took down Red.

 

The red Paladin hadn't been in the Red Lion?" He gasped. More people turning to look toward Keith. The one under attention just moving to place Lance in front of him from his height.

"No no he was." Shiro felt like he was grasping at straws here.

"He was overpowered by the Galran empire?" The other mused.

"We all were we hadn't made a plan before we attacked making us reckless." Shiro explained

"But successful? And lead by the Red Paladin?" The alien seemed to push.

"We did get our friend back so it was successful... it wasn't led by the red paladin though" he kept that Keith was totally against the idea to himself.

"Oh," the other frowned as they glanced back to the red paladin, though it was harder to see the boy now from his position behind the blue paladin.

Pidge decided to pipe in," what legends exactly has been spreading about the red Paladin?"

"Many," they said. "The quest of obtaining Red Lion from deep within Galra forces. The fight with the emperor! Fighting bounty hunters, and saving the Blue Paladin from perish on a deserted moon!"

Lance jaw dropped," Keith did not save me from perishing!" He exclaimed with indignation didn't help he was still embarrassed at being tricked getting cuffed to a tree.

Keith snorted from behind him. "I didn't have to come get you," he smirked toward the other.

Lance pouted." Come on i just said I wouldn't of died didn't say I didn't need help mullet head."

"Uh-huh," Keith raised an eyebrow at him. "Who was the one who begged me over the comms?"

"You were acting as if you were going to leave me there!" He defended crossing his arms

"Then maybe I should've," Keith copied the arm gesture.

"Now that's just mean! If it had been you I wouldn't of left you." Lance says annoyed

Pidge rolled there eyes. "He wouldn't even need your help, Lance. We both know Red would have come running back to him." They received a glare from the red paladin.

"True she is attached to him." Lance nods thoughtfully

"Stop talking like I'm not here." Keith whined. The teens arms still crossed.

"Then stop hiding behind me Keith I don't think anyone here bites." Lance smirks

"I just dont like all the attention," Keith mumbled. The boy keeping his place fairly close and behind the other.

"I would love to help but you are apparently some fabled star killer wait a minute..." lance says eyes wide. Lance looks to Pidge." A zodiac is a type of star right?"

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. "No, zodiac is a type of star system we use on Earth." He said to the other. "Did you ever pay attention at the Garrison?"

"Well I was right about it being a typography star thing. If some who doesn't know of earth culture were to read the word zodiac is it possible that it could be mistaken for star?" Lance asks ignoring Keith's question

"Possibly from the difference of dialect could be translated to something else like cultures on Earth," Keith shrugged. "Why?"

"Remember when I jokingly wrote your name and put zodiac killer by it?" Lance says sheepishly

"Oh my God," Keith facepalmed. " You're the cause of all this chaos you know?"

"Hey I didn't know people would take it literally! It was graffiti on a downed galra ship. That's like believing everything that's written in bathroom stalls." Lance rolls his eyes but feels kind of guilty for starting this whole mess.

"It was on a downed Galra ship though," Keith sighed. "They probably thought it was like a statement or sign off on something I did."

Lances mouth formed an oh." Well how are we going to tell shiro this and explain it to the rest of the universe now apparently?" Lance asks sheepishly having not thought one little thing would cause this much trouble.

"First you kind of made the problem lance," Pidge adjusts her glasses slightly,"second, I think he knows already." She points to the exasperated elder man

Keith hand a hand through his hair. "Thisll 'll be annoying," he sighed.

"I thought it was just a harmless joke." Lance faked a stained laugh rubbing the back of his neck.

the aliens had gone back to their own small talk once the ambassadors went back to business with Shiro. Some still sending the three Paladins a glance to catch sight of the red Paladin. "It probably was, until it translated to Star Killer," Keith sighed.

"Wonder what language it was that translated zodiac to star?" Pidge wonders aloud

"Zodiac kinda means stars though even on Earth, right?" Keith questioned the younger.

Pidge nods." They do. it's star charts that some used to predict the future."

Lance stretches." How bad do you think this is going to end up being?"

"I hope it just doesn't get too out of control." Keith sighed.

"They think you can kill stars." Pidge deadpans."I think it's a bit late on this to not get out of control."

Keith sighed. He rubbed his temples. "Any way we can fix this?"

"You could try and prove you can't actually kill a star." Lance pipes up.

"Red can resist heat but not enough to get right next to a star." Keith sighed. "It was hard enough with the Supernova of that Red SuperGiant and getting out through the wormhole." Keith stated remembering that mission. 

There was then a gasp from behind them. "He cause a Supernova! A star explosion!" Came a shout from behind them. Keith put his face in his hands.

"Well... that back fired." Pidge snorts

"Have Anymore bright ideas lance?"

Lance withheld his, "not as bright as me," comment for another time. He pursed his lips before looking at Keith then to Pidge. "I win in an arm wrestling match?" He grinned, cracking his knuckles.

"Sure.. then hunk will stop trying to crush us when he hugs us." Pidge says skeptical of this plan.

"Like you would win," Keith scoffed. 

Lance ignored the Red Paladin, "Pidge, Hunk's hugs are magic!"

"When you can breathe then sure." Pidge rolls her eyes.

"You're just too tiny~" Lance teased. "The poor PIdgeon just hasn't had their growth spurt."

Pidge glared at Lance before stepping purposely on his foot.

"Gah!" Lance cried out. He grabbed his foot before hopping on the other.

Shiro glanced over having heard the yelp

"You should be carful what you say lance." Pidge rolls her eyes

Keith shook his head at the two. "How much longer do you think we'll be here for?"

"Looks like Shiro is wrapping it up." Pidge said looking over to shiro shaking hands with one of the leaders.

"Cool," Keith nodded. 

Lance finally stopped jumping about as he looked back. "How about a race back to the lions?" He offered. 

Keith glanced to the side. "You're o-"

Shiro having finished up with the people put a hand on both Keith and Lance's shoulder."I think its best that you two don't do that concidering what just happened."

"Well if I beat Keith then this while Star Lord thing would be proven untrue." Lance huffed. 

"Star Lord?" Another murmur started. Pidge face palmed.

"Maybe you should stop mentioning earth pop culture here?" Shiro suggests lightly wondering how he was going to explain this to everyone back at the castle

Lance groaned before turning to face Keith. "This is your fault." He hissed. 

"My fault? How is this my fault. You painted it," Keith huffed.

"It's both your faults now come on let's get off this planet before you cause an even bigger problem." Pidge told the boys looking st her data screen to see if she could find out more regarding what happened

Keith sighed before nodding. He glanced to Shiro to walk out first as their leader.

Shiro let go of their shoulders and walked a head of the two even though he would of preferred to see that they weren't fighting again

Keith just instantly walked out behind the taller. The boy seemed like he wanted to be protected from the glances of the aliens. Lance sighed before following. He winked and sent a finger gun to one of the aliens.

Pidge rolled her eyes. She followed closely behind lance back to the lions.

Keith glanced to Shiro. "How should i get these rumirs to stop?" He sighed.

"Try and prove these rumors wrong by showing you aren't a killer or ruthless?" Shiro offers half a smile.

"How can i do that when that's what we have to do against Galran forces?" He questioned.

"First off you can smile." Shiro teased Keith

Keith rolled his eyes to the other. "Thats That's your job, pretty boy." He teased back before sticking his tongue out.

"Try speaking to people nicely then?" Shiro chuckles

"I dont think that's possible Shiro. Our little emo boy doesn't know how to socialize." Lance tsked. He threw an arm over Keith's shoulder who proceeded to shove him off.

"In time I'm sure this will blow over anyway." Shiro shrugs

"Let's hope," Keith sighed, the boy glancing to Red who obediently knelt down to let him in.

"And if they don't we can hope the galra hears about it." Pidge smiles getting into her own lion.

Keith shrugged as he stepped into Red turning on his communication.

Shiro stepping in to black finally relaxing from the stress at the people meeting

Once back on base Keith changed out of his uniform quickly. He faced the others again as he slipped on his usual jacket. "What now?"

"I have to go tell Corran how the meeting went along with our unusual discovery." Shiro says pushing his hair back.

"Should I come with?" He glanced to Lance.

"You both should you two have some explaining to do." Shiro said looking at the two of them.

Keith sighed but nodded, "yes, sir." He mumbled Lance huffed, puffing his cheeks out. "I still blame Keith."

"Doesn't matter whose fault it is all that matters is fixing it." Shiro says walking toward the control room


End file.
